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Monday, January 09, 2006

:: rainy wet horrible day ::

i had a horrible day. im in alot of pain now. alot of confusion. i want the dark sky to open up and swallow me up. i want to be among the stars... where nobody can hurt me, where i can refuse to know watz goin on, where i can be by myself. i want to disappear from the surface of the Earth... i want to die... i want to go missing... i dowan to live anymore...

the whole day the rain poured n poured... its as though the sky was crying for me... slow and draggy rain. not the thunderstorm i wish it was... once a bad hit and over and done with... today, it was the slow draggy long-winded rain. totally expresses the pain im in... this slow breakin down of my heart...

i can reali feel myself no longer the patient n understanding gal i used to be. the pain in my heart is making me a bitter sore person. a horrible person. the person i used to hate being... i want my old self back... i want my strong, cheerful n happy self back... wad shld i do to get that self back? wad? tell me wad?

i just want to disappear into the sky... go for a memory reboost... forget everythin arnd me... throw all my baggage away... stop the rain once and for all...

love... love sucks indeed... love is a painful torture... the more love ure in... the harder it becomes... the more pain u have to undergo... this is horrible...

i hope tomorrow is a better day...

i hope work keeps my mind away from all the pain...

i hope it doesnt rain anymore...

i hope...

yah... its all hope... when will anythin ever be real? good things never last... u just have to HOPE it lasts...

fuck off!

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12:02 AM
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